I’m realizing how self-centered we can become, un-phased by what goes on outside of our direct sphere of interest.  I don’t know why I thought we as Blacks had some type of monopoly on “European beauty-itis,” but we don’t…I was surprised, saddened, and disappointed to see reports of Asians getting eyelid surgery to appear more “Western.”  Yes, eyelid surgery…Asians, also victims of the desire to look more European (a.k.a. “attractive”), are having their eyes widened. 

            Now, call me ignorant or stereotypical, but I always found the narrow eyes to be quite exotic and attractive.  I appreciate our differences.  Unfortunately, “different” isn’t always celebrated in our culture.  (Gotta love this “melting pot” called the U.S.A.)  When we’re made to feel as if that which makes us beautiful and unique somehow is an anomaly, we tend to pass those insecurities on.

            I’m listening to a report on this trend in Asia, and many are traveling to Seoul, Korea to fix the unbroken.  Mothers who’ve already had this surgery telling their already beautiful daughters they cannot—will not—be successful in today’s beauty-obsessed world without these "repairs".  A 12-year-old dancer, excited about her upcoming surgery, points out how much more fetching and acceptable a Caucasian model is than the Asian.  When asked why, she simply responds, “Her eyes!”

            Even more maddening is the trend of Asian mothers taking newborns to doctors to CUT the muscle beneath the tongue.  Why?  To enable these children to speak better English later in their lives.  So not only do they teach their innocents that their physical appearance is not aesthetically appealing, but also they are saying their speech is not acceptable in today’s global market.  (Again, pardon my ignorance, but I’ve always found different accents and dialects to be a draw!)

            Hearing these things does indeed bring a feeling of distress; but somehow…

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This video made me love the natural hair acceptance movement even more. Even though the video isn’t about hair, it definitely got me thinking. I used to believe that people of different races wouldn’t approve of my hair…then I went natural and discovered that black people have more to say on the matter. It made me realize that communities (not just ours) perpetuate certain beliefs. Apparently the “western” look is the epitome of beauty: so we bleach, hide, relax or turn to plastic surgery.

 

I’m thankful for the natural hair acceptance movement because we are beginning to wake up and take things into our own hands. Not only does it give us the option to wear our hair in its natural state, it also exposes others to it. One day we’ll be accepted rather than tolerated in our own communities. Better late than never.

 

I was on YouTube today, and I found these two videos that echo how I feel. I decided to share them here so that I can get the opinion of the ladies on this site. Whatever is shared just speak from the heart. No judgement needed here, just "shoot from the hip" and be real?

Amen, finally someone put into words exactly how I feel. I am of African decent. Both my parents were black, and both grandparents were black. My great grandmother was Italian, so that made my grandmother, my mother and myself so light we look "white". I ended up with kinky curly hair, and at the age of 10 my mom had it relaxed. I hated my complexion and I hated my hair, I wanted to look more black. But today I embrace who God created me to be, and I love my naturally kinky curly hair. God Bless you all.…

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Hello Ladies of Natural Sunshine!

 

We would like to take the time out to let you know that we appreciate you as members of our community and value the content you share with us!

 

Right now, NatSun is undergoing a major change and we are working to make the site a one-stop-shop for natural hair care information and the number one resource for new naturals. With that said, we want our groups to reflect the vision and mission of the site.

 

We are currently in Phase One of our two phase group pruning process.

 

During Phase One, we will be deleting all groups that meet the following criteria.

 

• The group is not relevant to the new direction of the site
• The group has little to no activity
• The group is a duplicate of another group

 

All Members will have ten (10) days from the date of the deletion notice (which is to follow this initial letter and will inform all group creators and group members of our decision to delete a particular group) to gather and save any information that has been added to the group that you would like to keep. Once the group has been deleted, members will no longer be able to access the information contained in that group and it will be permanently removed from the internet.

 

Phase Two of group pruning will be the consolidation of groups based on location and topic.

 

The groups that remain after the completion of Phase One will undergo another pruning. We will consolidate groups focused on similar topics and delete the lesser active groups in that category. For example, if there were three groups for TWA’s, the most active group will remain and the other two groups will be deleted. However, we will still create a link for the deleted groups within the group that remains. All information from the two deleted…

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Who would have  thought that a friendship of more than twenty year would have ended so abruptly.  Well here’s a lil history about my BFF and me:

We met on the job years ago and found ourselves with sooo many similarities from foods to fashion. Not to mention we both believed in self-expression through style.  Our looks gave us a strong presence in the office which made everyone else kinda standoffish from us (this made us cleave to each other all the more).  If she wasn’t rocking the big 90’s Patty Labelle hair, then I was. Grimps, finger waves, freeze curls, and waterfalls was def our things. To us a laid back look was three packs of 1B 14in straight Yaki.  YES, we were all bout that. SMH LOl!!  We got older and yes our looks started to become more refined.

She kept the weave; I on the other hand started embracing my own hair which was natural all alone. I would blow it out most of the time for the straight look (1st pic is a twist out).  A little while ago I allowed myself to become influenced by others and relaxed my beautiful tresses. When I rinsed the chemical out I also rinsed away at least 50% of my hair as well (2nd pic).   I felt fear, shame, anger and regret, all at the same time.  Vowing after such a devastating episode, relaxing was never going to be an option, EVER!!

Well since my greatest hair debacle the BFF has…

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What you may think is so bad and obvious to others may be the last thing someone notices. 

When you look in the mirror what does the reflection tell you? I'm sure many of you have encountered a person who highlighted their own imperfection that otherwise would have gone unnoticed. I promise you I believed, and sometimes still believe, that I had a big forehead. A childhood friend told me I had a big forehead. That day a new insecurity was birthed. Having a "big forehead" became an insecurity that stayed with me from adolescence to my mid 20s. During that time span I never let my forehead see the light of day. It dictated the hairstyles I thought I could and could not wear. Every woman that has ever approached me and complimented my natural hair always told me about an insecurity that prevented them from going natural.

What we believe about our appearance become our truth and becomes apparent to those around us. I remember the first time I saw the comedian/actress Monique. She was on a comedy show and she had on a mini skirt. I remember thinking, "She's cute". As I listened to her comedy I realized she knew she was cute too. I was able to sense that as soon as I turned to the program she was on.

Some things we can't change so instead we should try to see it in a new light. When I decided to let my forehead come out in public I gave myself a little peptalk. I said, "Maybe I do have a big forehead. But its a pretty big forehead". I'm sure people have told Monique she needs to lose weight. I can only imagine her saying "I'm still fine with or without this weight", and then tilt her head back, open her mouth wide and laugh like she always do lol.

The next time you look in the mirror and one of your insecurities rears its ugly head look yourself in the eyes and say "Well, its a pretty (fill in the blank)".

Please check out an interview Monique did with Al Sharpton on confidence. "My father was absolutely brilliant in his…

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